Life is real: Jim hopes his story lives on

Jim Chastain receives a hug from his grandmother during his birthday party at Full Circle Books in Oklahoma City on Dec. 10, 2008. Photo by John Clanton

Jim Chastain's eyes sweep across the bookstore, landing for a moment on each face.

365 days of healing and encouragement

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Waiting
Day 326

As unlikely as it may seem, your former spouse will probably consider reconciliation at some point.

"You may think your mate will never do that. Sometimes it takes a while; the longest I've seen is twelve years," says Dr. Jim A. Talley.

Rose Sweet says, "If you can't reconcile your marriage, then you can at least reconcile yourself to a right relationship with your former spouse and that is one of forgiveness and one of peace. If you can't reconcile on that level, give it some time. Keep the door cracked because you never know how God is going to work in that person's heart. He is asking you to stay there and be patient and go about your life. When the time is right, He might move your former spouse's heart toward you, not necessarily toward remarriage but to mutual forgiveness and kindness, and you want to make sure that door is open. If it's five years from now, ten years from now, thirty years from now—how wonderful that you've left the door open for that beautiful gift for the both of you."

All things are possible with God. He is all-knowing and all-powerful, and His perspective is broader than anyone could imagine. Trust God, who desires reconciliation, and through whom it can be accomplished.

"For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5 NLT).

Almighty God, all things are possible through You. Lord, I want to believe. Teach me to trust in You. Amen.

Oklahoma City police officer pulls man over for anti-Obama sign on vehicle

Left: Steve McCool addresses the incident in a frame grab from NewsOK.com video. Center: The sign that was confiscated from Chip Harrison, right. Photos by Jaconna Aguirre

The police officers who stopped Oklahoma City motorist Chip Harrison and confiscated a sign from his car told him he has a right to his beliefs, but the U.S. Secret Service "could construe this as a threat against President Obama," according to the incident report released this morning.

365 days of healing and encouragement

Divorce support groups:
Click here to find a DivorceCare Group Near You. If you would like to find a group for a friend or relative, try our Search Page.

Want to read ahead or resend a previous "One Day at a Time" email? Click Here

A Reason to Reconcile: Heritage
Day 318

There are several reasons you should consider reconciliation. We will discuss eight reasons over the next eight days. The first reason to reconcile is because of the valuable heritage that you already have together.

"Once the separation occurs," says Dr. Jim A. Talley, "there begins to be a loss of all the positive memories and all the positive heritage, and an accumulation of all the pain and all of the negative. In order to get back into a balance and to really consider reconciliation seriously, you have to go back and remember some of the good things that happened. Every family and every relationship has a heritage that is valuable to be passed on to the children and to the grandchildren."

Alice shares, "We had always been each other's best friend, so we had a lot to build on if we could bring it back together."

When you think back to the time you were first getting to know your former spouse, the dating and the early part of your marriage, you likely have many fond memories. You have been through good times and bad times together, and the memories and traditions you have built together are your heritage. It is an important part of you.

"Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. I will bless the LORD who has counseled me" (Psalm 16:6-7 NASB).

Lord God, help me to remember the good times and not let the negative memories take over. Amen.

Suggested reading from the DivorceCare HelpCenter

Separated and Waiting
Jan Northington


Waiting to be reconciled or divorced can bring confusion, despair, and hopelessness. Whether you've been separated for a short while or a long time, Separated and Waiting offers the motivation and understanding you need to bring wholeness back into your life—despite the uncertainty of the future of your marriage.